Forget
I forget. And it's so easy.
I forget that some of the smallest sources of pleasure come from inside me. The things that I love doing, over and over again. Going to the gym, listening to Pink Floyd. Indulging in a pizza with extra cheese... The feeling of a job well done. These things I forget they bring me pleasure. They bring a smile on my face. They quiet the demons.
I forget that I do not have to look to others for confirmation that I am OK. I forget that the demons in my head that scream I am not worthy of friends, of love can be quieted by me. With help, from time to time, but I have to face them. And I do, but sometimes I do it too late and they get too powerful.
It's so easy to let go. It's so easy to stop fighting. But the key to winning every battle is to face these demons head on. Never let them get too powerful.
But I forget that. I forget a lot of things...
Being bipolar is not easy. But it can be easier.
I forget that some of the smallest sources of pleasure come from inside me. The things that I love doing, over and over again. Going to the gym, listening to Pink Floyd. Indulging in a pizza with extra cheese... The feeling of a job well done. These things I forget they bring me pleasure. They bring a smile on my face. They quiet the demons.
I forget that I do not have to look to others for confirmation that I am OK. I forget that the demons in my head that scream I am not worthy of friends, of love can be quieted by me. With help, from time to time, but I have to face them. And I do, but sometimes I do it too late and they get too powerful.
It's so easy to let go. It's so easy to stop fighting. But the key to winning every battle is to face these demons head on. Never let them get too powerful.
But I forget that. I forget a lot of things...
Being bipolar is not easy. But it can be easier.
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